But first, how I got here.

A raw post about my personal journey and why Reinvention means so much to me.

My obsession with reinvention has not always been an obvious and conscious thought. To explain how I got here, I will have to take you back to my childhood and upbringing.

For as long as I could remember, I was an avid people watcher and feeling person. I would notice the facial expressions not quite matching words spoken, and I would analyse relationships and people dynamics, as well as my own ‘self’ and who I was in this glorious world.

So who am I?

It’s a big question, and certainly not one I can articulate in one piece of writing, so I’ll start off with my childhood to give you some colour. I hope that in time, you’ll be able to get to know me and the many layers that sit beneath who I am. I am not a perfect human being, and I do not have all of the answers, but I do have a vast fascination with learning and expanding my knowledge base, hence this journey (insert plot twist) to pursue something different. But first, let’s start with some background on me.

A first generation Australian, born in an immigrant household, often flowing between spaces. You see, I have always felt like I constantly live in two different worlds. My parents were from the Mekong Delta region in Southern Vietnam, my father’s family were successful merchants whilst my mother’s family were farmers who grew tropical fruits and rice. My grandfather on my mum’s side was an influential community member and as such, was targeted during the Vietnam war – he was captured by the Viet Cong and died in a cave from starvation as soldiers abandoned the site once the bombings in the area drove a mass retreat.

Both of my grandmothers were strong widowed women, taking on the household and all business affairs. They wanted to get their family a fresh start after the war and I have heard of many stories of some tough and scary negotiations that took place in the lead up to how my parents got here. My father migrated to Melbourne, Australia in the late 70’s and settled in Richmond with his siblings. He worked at the old Rosella factory making tomato sauce to build up enough money to buy my mother’s plane ticket to Australia.

My mother married my father through an arranged marriage as a nineteen-year-old girl and had two boys, my brothers, who were two and one years of age. We do not really speak of her experiences in depth as I can imagine it may still be traumatising, but I do know that on one of her boat journeys with my two brothers, the boat was intercepted near the gulf of Thailand and she ended up in a refugee camp, estranged from my father for nine months. She speaks of the fortune she felt with how some of the Thai workers treated her there, often bringing boiled sweet potatoes for her and my two brothers to eat.

My father was working away to save enough money for airfare and was going through the process of bringing the rest of the family over to join him. My mother and two brothers arrived in 1984 and settled with my father in the government commission housing in Richmond where I was born a few years later.

My father then opened one of the first Vietnamese Chinese restaurants on Victoria Street with his siblings and business was doing well. However, family drama and sibling misalignment on direction led to a shift in work. My parents who were expecting at the time had saved up enough to buy their first home and decided it was time to relocate and provide better living circumstances. I was born and spent the early part of my childhood in government housing and about eighteen months later my parents bought their first home in the southeast area of Melbourne where there was a growing Vietnamese community and moved us there when before I turned two.

My childhood was full of good and bad experiences. We grew up ethnic but assimilating to new cultural norms and expectations, we also lived in family dysfunction, and domestic violence was prevalent throughout my childhood whether witnessing it around me or within our home. I also experienced sexual abuse and grooming in my early years. All of these elements helped build my armour early on.

Life was not all bad though, I loved to escape by reading great stories and writing poetry and enjoyed the good moments with the family when times were good. I enjoyed watching my mother cook and learning about the customs and rituals from my immigrant background. I also enjoyed making friends at school or work – it gave me understanding and different perspectives to learn from. I have always been fascinated with people, of all kinds. If I think about all the things that I grew up with, and all of the experiences I have had, I feel a sense of gratitude and pride.

I have not always had the best relationship with my mother over the years, but in the last couple of decades we have gotten to a good spot in our lives where we have been able to find a better rhythm and relationship. She has been through a fair deal too and seeing how she has worked through her traumatic life experiences has also given me such an appreciation for the power of reinvention.

If I think about her being a young village girl, being married off and living through the Vietnam war and living in a refugee camp, raising four children in a country she did not fully understand, having a partner who secretly cheated on her for their entire marriage, to working through her health issues and a failed business, and to who she is today; at peace and a new woman… I’ve witnessed my mother’s reinvention through the years, and it just amazes me on how people can overcome the toughest set of circumstances. I will be interviewing her and will share more of her story and perspectives in another piece of writing.

On the flip side, I remember one of my cousins, Lee, who we have not seen in decades. His childhood was not the best, his mother lost her life giving birth to him, and it was so painful for his father that he was abandoned. My grandmother raised him and looked out for him, and sent him on the journey to Australia with my mum, an uncle and my two older brothers. Once in Australia, he lived with some of my other uncles and aunties – some abused him and beat him up, and blamed him for being the reason why his dad left. He was a troubled kid, and he was around twelve years older than me, he lived with us from time to time when he got in to trouble and my mother was trying to help give him a new environment. He got in to the wrong crowd and involved in petty crime, and before you know it, he spiralled into a different world.

Lost, angry and troubled.

He ended up going to jail, and I remember writing letters to him regularly. He would call us from prison, for a few minutes, and would always ask to speak to me. I think he really enjoyed reading the letters and writing to each other.

Years later, when he got out of jail, my parents picked him up and let him stay at our place. He looked different, sounded different, he was older, his eyes were different – it was like his soul got sucked out of him. He showed me the folder to where he had meticulously filed all of our letters, and he gave me a beautiful sketch drawing of my siblings and I. I wish I had kept that drawing.

If I look back now, I think he was really just wanting love and a family. I cannot imagine what it would be like to live a childhood like his. The next few weeks were a bit temperamental, and before you know it, he was gone again. He did come back to visit every now and then, but there was always some sort of scheme he was playing, and the last time he convinced my mother to lend him her three sewing machines, which she later found out he had pawned off for new tyres for his red Holden.

I sometimes wonder where Lee is, and how he is doing. He’s not the only example of someone I know that has been through a lot of traumatic experiences, and he won’t be the last.

What is it that allows someone to overcome and change their pathway in life? It is something that has always fascinated me, hence the reason for writing my book and starting this creative project.

I have also experienced a lot of trauma in my life, and I feel like for the most part, I have been able to work through and overcome a lot of obstacles.

To be sitting here and writing these words and feel mostly at peace is something that I am truly grateful for. In saying that, I do not believe that all reinvention comes from trauma. There are many stories and people I know that have also reinvented themselves through creativity, innovation and career pivots.

The beautiful part of this journey is that I will seek to have conversations with people from all walks of life, in all stages of reinvention, as I think there is something powerful in being able to share our journeys and to unpack the things that helped get us there.

My intention is to go on this discovery journey to unpack and develop some of the theory, frameworks and tools that people can use to help them on their own journey to reinvention.

Why? Because every single person on this planet deserves to life their best life.

If you have any thoughts or insights or simply want to share something, please comment below.

Thanks for reading.